If you have a friend with depression, it can be hard to know what to say or do.Reassure them that they are important to you.Encourage them to see their health care provider or mental health professional. Explain that depression is a medical condition, not a character flaw and that it usually gets better with treatment.
Encourage them to get help.
It’s natural to want to do everything you can for someone in crisis, but it’s important to make sure your friend has access to emergency contacts and mental health hotlines if they express suicidal thoughts or self-harm tendencies. You can also help by recommending support groups and counseling services available through local organizations, employee assistance programs, or religious institutions.
Providing encouragement and reassurance is an important way to show your friend that you care. Many people with depression feel like they are not worth living, and letting them know that they are loved can help them realize their value.
If your friend has started therapy or medication, you can offer to go with them to their appointments to hear directly from their therapist what is working and not working, and to provide emotional support. Avoid offering unsolicited advice, however, since your friend may not be ready to receive it or be able to follow it at this point. Whether or not your friend chooses to take antidepressants is a personal decision that should be left up to them and their healthcare professional.
Offer to do things for them.
Helping a friend through depression can be emotionally draining. It’s important to maintain your own mental health and wellbeing to be able to continue to provide support. Practicing radical self-care can help you stay healthy and be a better friend to your friend.
During times of depression, it can be difficult for people to keep up with day-to-day chores or errands. Offer to take care of some of these tasks for your friend, like picking up groceries or running errands. This can take a lot of pressure off of them and show that you care.
Many people with depression feel weak or that there is something wrong with them. Reassure them that depression is a real illness and that through treatment (which may include psychotherapy, medication, and other methods), they will feel stronger. It’s important not to make comments that can be perceived as critical or blaming, as this will only amplify the feelings of guilt and shame that people with depression often experience. It’s also important to remind them that depression is not their fault and that they deserve to feel better.
Be a good listener.
Getting support from others can help your friend manage their symptoms. They might need help with things like chores, grocery shopping, and cooking. They could also benefit from someone to hang out with.
It can be difficult for someone who has depression to talk about their feelings, especially when other people don’t understand. Try reading up on the condition to better prepare yourself to have discussions about it. You can use techniques like nodding, repeating what they say to confirm your understanding, and asking open-ended questions.
You can also help them create a contingency plan for their day-to-day needs. For example, you might offer to drop by every other day or give them a code word they can text if they need you. You can even involve other friends to build a support network for your friend.
Some people experience a quick turnaround after starting treatment, while others might need more time. Be patient and don’t get frustrated if they have a few bad days. You can still let them know you care by continuing to extend invitations for activities, movies, or meals.
Be patient.
Depression can be an elusive condition that requires time and patience to improve. When your friend is feeling down, remind them that they will feel better in time. It may take some trial and error with different counseling approaches or medications for them to find what works best, but it will get better.
People who struggle with depression often feel that their problems don’t matter to others, or that they are a burden on those around them. Tell them that they are an important part of your life and that you’ll be there for them no matter what.
Be careful not to make comments that can be perceived as judgmental or insensitive, such as “It could be worse,” “It’s all in your head” or “You are just looking for attention.” These can lead to feelings of guilt or worthlessness and contribute to their isolation from those around them. In addition, it’s not your role to be their therapist, so avoid offering advice that they haven’t asked for. Instead, offer to be there for them and listen when they want to talk.
Be understanding.
Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions in the United States. It can be hard to watch someone you care about suffer from this disorder, but there are things you can do to help them.
Try to avoid judgment or critical comments that could exacerbate their feelings of guilt and worthlessness. Instead, explain that depression is not a personal flaw or weakness and that it usually gets better with treatment.
Encourage them to talk to a doctor or mental health professional, and offer to set up an appointment for them or go along with them to their appointments. This is especially helpful if they’re not comfortable sharing their feelings with strangers.
Be prepared for them to cancel plans often, and let them know you’re willing to be flexible with your activities. This will help reassure them that you are still thinking of them and care about them, even if they aren’t feeling well. Be sure to take time for yourself as well, as supporting a friend with depression can be emotionally draining.